Although I barely know Marla, I wanted to make her something special for her birthday party, and what backcountry skier wouldn’t be thrilled to have his or her own A-Star helicopter?! Marla’s party happens to coincide with the annual Heli Free Wasatch party, which celebrates the end of the Wasatch Powderbird’s season of destruction in the Wasatch. Yes, those brave boys can now take a well deserved break from bombing the Wasatch and move onto their summer activities which probably include clubbing baby Harp seals and logging old-growth Redwood trees in National Parks.
The HMS Shithead takes shape in the special climate controlled hanger.
Oh sure, a private “ship” might seem like an extravagant gift, but heli skiing in the Wasatch is a subject that gets backcountry skiers very excited. I know when the Powderbirds decide to share a drainage with me, I often get so excited that I jump up and down until my pants fall off and I lapse into a Tourette Syndrome type of trance and begin screaming in heli-tongues whilst slapping my butt cheeks.
Building a papier-mache pinata and drinking beer go together well as sloppy craftsmanship and lack of attention to detail is essential.
This proud little ship has a few modifications which technically make it an A-Hole instead of an A-Star. But, just like a real Powderbirds ship, it will be filled with fat, alcohol and pork products. Hopefully it will have a longer life span than most of the the Powderbirds pathetic little 45 second flights, but if not, it will share its bounty with the masses and can then be burned or thrown away in an eco-friendly manner that the Powderbirds would do well to emulate.
The HMS Shithead gets its first coat of paint. The logos and stickers come next.
Stay tuned for a potential trip report on the maiden flight of the Shithead over the weekend.
Inserting the payload. The Vodka represents the backcountry skiers - cheap and semi pure of spirit in an unbreakable container. The Slim Jim beefsticks represents the WPG clientele - nasty little cheese infused by-products wrapped in plastic through no fault of their own. The Mini Snickers represents the Forest Service response to years of complaints against the WPG. The Mini 3 Musketeers represents Tyrone, Crusty & Oily, the three swashbuckling WPG guides who are living a long gone dream.
Marla getting harassed by the helicopter - just like a day of backcountry skiing in the Wasatch, except this time the backcountry skiers get to strike back.
Oh no! The good ship Shithead has lost its main rotor... yet still keeps going! Billy using the force (and a little help from his canine pal) to line up the coup du grace.
"You shan't recover from this one darling" Spinal Tap
The Shithead going up in flames during a sombre funeral pyre ceremony. So long sucker.
Help support StraightChuter.com and get a pair of pinata thumping Black Diamond Adjustable Probe Poles on sale now at Backcountry.com. Click on the photo below…