Job Opening – Female Ski Mountaineer

| January 26, 2011

At the recent Outdoor Retailer Show (details forthcoming) I was asked by three different companies for recommendations regarding a female Ski Mountaineer.  I know they/you are out there…

Job Description:

  • Go to exotic locations, climb beautiful mountains and ski them
  • Provide product feeback
  • Public speaking about the glories of Ski Mountaineering
  • Photo shoot pose-downs
  • Teach the occasional SM clinic
  • Attend tradeshows and/or ski events
  • Attend sales and/or design meetings

The ability to hold your own in a sausage-fest is helpful.

Your new office.

Minimum Requirements:

  • Strong backcountry touring and/or ski mountaineering skills
  • Semi long-term commitment
  • Know the difference between facets and faucets
  • Ability to turn left AND right in all snow conditions

Girlie pink is not required, but provides a good source of entertainment. Kellie Oh! in Argentina.

Left and right turns are required.

Desirable Requirements:

  • Ability to thrive in a male dominated sausage-fest environment
  • Enjoy cold weather camping
  • Enjoy steep skiing
  • Lead 5.8 trad or higher
  • Skin at 1,000′ per hour or more
  • Lead Class 4 ice
  • Alpine climbing experience (Teton, Rainier, Shasta type things)
  • No job conflicts, or better yet, no other job ;)
  • English as a second language or better
  • Flexible schedule

Office hours are from midnight until noon, or whenever the snow gets too soft. Petra climbing before the first descent of Mt. Buckner, WA

Meet great photographers and spray them with snow.

Job Benefits:

  • All the gear you can eat
  • The chance to ski your brains out
  • Meet and travel with other fun, deranged and talented skiers
  • Postpone adulthood indefinitely

A sense of humour and tolerance for immature behavior is important.

Occupational Hazards:

  • Death
  • Eventual loss of interest in other more financially rewarding work
  • Lifestyle addiction
  • Disdain of anything less than a perfect field of unbroken powder

I’m not doing the actual hiring, but will pass your: 1) Brief skiing resume and 2) Contact information along to those who will.  Please contact me at  Time is of the essence.

Help support and show the boys how it is done with a pair of Scarpa Diva Alpine Touring Boots from Click on the photo below…

Category: Announcements

About the Author ()

Andrew McLean lives in Park City, Utah and is a gear designer, writer, photographer, ski mountaineer, climber, Mountain Unicycle rider and father of two very loud little girls.

Comments (14)

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  1. mc says:

    I think all resumes should be posted here first for initial screening!
    That last photo has someone doing their best Johnny Thrash imitation but you can tell its not him as there are no rib bones visible!

  2. Rick S. says:

    I’m not a chick but I have no issues wearing pink if it gets me free gear.

  3. Seriously says:

    Ya know, the job seems pretty cool, but the douchebag factor seems pretty high with all the sausagefest crap and the naked guy in the picture which hurt my virgin eyes. You should make it clear that you expect the female ski mountaineer to be giving blowjobs every morning to the naked sausagefest douchebags. That’s pretty much how I read it and it upsets me as that’s my job and I don’t want to lose it.
    That part of it? Just want to be clear cause it’s lonely up here in JHole.

  4. Laura says:

    This sounds too good to be true. Is it?

  5. Lil'C says:

    Would I qualify if I paid a doctor to install a nice pair of tits on my chest?

  6. Sheldon Kerr says:

    Thanks for sounding the cry! Will get you some info stat!

  7. gringo says:

    i second that . please post (Anonymusly, of course) the resumes…would be pretty entertaining I think…maybe you could work yourself into a finders fee as well if the right candidate is found as a result.

  8. Jimmy says:

    Like/dislike last photo.
    I see a few photos of Petra. Skied with her & Fred here years ago. What ever happened to her? Last I heard she met someone, moved away and got into running or something? Just curious. I would say she qualifies for the job. Strong woman!

  9. Bob says:

    A potential candidate friend of mine wants to know: do you get dental with that?

    Jimmy, Petra was living (and running) near Los Alamos, NM but recently moved to Slovenia for a year.

  10. Andrew says:

    Free tooth removal if you happen to fall down something steep, but aside from that, no.

  11. seth de Loki says:

    I vote for Sheldon Kerr- ;]

  12. anonymous coward says:

    Is this an elaborate joke making fun of women? Huh.

  13. Andrew says:

    No – it was a serious inquiry and had a lot of excellent and very qualified responses.

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