Our journey begins after you have been magically transported to the top of the peak identified (hopefully) in Clue #4…
Cheese & Rice it’s cold up here! We need to get going. Taking a waypoint with your GPS, you notice that it is 2:00pm and decide to follow the sun as it sets to hopefully gain a little warmth. The descent is moderate and along the way you notice a few climbing wands, which gives you hope that at least your body may be found by future climbers if you freeze to death.
Completing the descent (wheesh!), you reach a broad valley and set your 14m NASA Wing kite in a stiff breeze. The wind is to your back and blowing from the North/NW as you catch a downwind ride across the open terrain. Traveling at 20 miles per hour, you go for about six-and-a-half hours, skirting mountain ranges on your right.
As you near a small sub-range, you hit rock-hard blue ice, patch out and take a five-star digger. Visions of football teams, Jefferson, Hamilton, Paine and lethal missiles dance like snowflakes through your rattled cranium as you stare at the nearby hills. Recouping, you check your GPS and see that you have come 134 miles since leaving the summit. Pondering your location, you notice what appears to be a tent city with some oil drums and Weather Haven shelters. Figuring it is either haunted or a mirage, you blink your frozen eyes and continue on.
Six to nine miles later, you stop for a rest near what appears to be a random prong of snow. Downing the kite and taking off your pack and skis, you feel the call of nature and walk a discrete distance to lighten your load.
The snow surface is flat and smooth as far as you can see, but as you drop your drawers, you suddenly punch through the surface and fall ten feet! Much to your amazement, the landing is cushioned. Shock, relief and dismay are suddenly all forgotten as your eyes adjust to the dim light, and then glancing to your right you see an apparition offering you… a BRAND NEW PAIR OF BLACK DIAMOND BOOTS!
Oh. My. Heck. :) The places you’ll go and the things you’ll ski with theses puppies boggles the mind!
With technical exactitude, within one meter, where are you?
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Bob Athey – the Wizard Cometh
The Wasatch is kind of unusual in that aside from the mountains themselves, there is little to no central gathering spots for skiers or climbers. I’d be hard pressed to name a single bar where you had a chance of meeting other backcountry skiers on a consistent basis. Maybe the Sitzmark in the Alta Lodge or the Porcupine down at the base of Big Cottonwood, but more than likely, if you are going to run into other backcountry skiers, you will most likely do it in the mountains.
If you’ve been skiing around for a while, or are just unlucky, you will sooner or later meet Bob Athey. People either love or hate Bob, and I’m psyched to say I’m in the first category – I love seeing him and always have a good time catching up. He is by far and away the most avid backcountry skier I’ve ever met and I remember at one point he said it was easier for him to count the days he didn’t go into the backcountry, rather than those when he did. Because the Wasatch is so small, this means that Bob knows every single little shot, variation of shots and connect-the-dot routes between them. I don’t think he ever skis anything but deep powder, mainly because he always knows where to find it.
“So, uhm, what was the problem with them Bob?”
“That stupid little trim tool gets completely gummed up and you can only trim-out one pair of skins with it.”
“Oh, but, how about the skins themselves?”
“The skins? Oh those are fine. But that trim tool sucks.”
That’s Bob for you.
I also had a chance to work with Bob when I was at the Utah Avalanche Forecast Center and he was a full-time observer. Various skiers would send in observations from the day before, but if you showed up at 4:00am to go to work and saw there was a “Bob Ob” you were golden. A big part of this for me was that I think we shared the same evaluation criteria, but beyond that, Bob always had some killer little insight that everyone else seemed to miss. Plus he’s incredibly passionate about snow. Whenever I’d make a mistake, he be sure and send me an email with a picture of someone’s ass and a note saying “Huh?”
Bob is one of those guys you probably shouldn’t follow in the backcountry, although he is my wife’s favorite partner. He’ll center-punch one slope, but somehow knows to stay off of the one right next to it, which is not to imply he has never been caught in an avalanche.
A few years ago an article was written about him where the author called him “The Wizard of the Wasatch” which has not only stuck, but become appropriately shortened to WOW. The article went on to note how he “ricocheted off the canyon walls while chuffing down an unfiltered Camel” which is always fun to remind him of.
Bob has an ongoing website with some of the best up-to-date snow and skiing (and boarding – he does it all) conditions from the Wasatch. He picked up a new camera two years ago and has been putting it to excellent use. If you get a chance, check out http://www.wowasatch.com/index.htm, or better yet, send a PayPal contribution to him so he can upgrade his software.
I look forward to seeing you out there Bob!
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